(no subject)

I hate having hypoglycemic issues. My blood sugar is totally fcking me up this morning. And I've already eaten soemthing and had some orange juice, so there's nothing to do except sit and be miserable until my body re-adjusts itself. Argh.

And I have an annoying song stuck in my head for no explainable reason.

(no subject)

People climbed into the night like space suits
People stepped into the night like moon boots
Marching like moon troops
In their zoot colored zoot suits

People climbed into the night like cool wells
Shiney bottles in their hands
Drinking their new selves
They say it's their true selves

People climbed up in the night like green trees
They were hanging from the night like green leaves
Buzzing like queen bees

People climbed into the night like space suits
People stomped inside the night
Stomping and stomping and stomping and stomping and stomping

Where are they going?
What's the rush?
Everybody in the place was so out of touch
Hey

Night-time is when the things get heavy
You feel alone and you want somebody
Loneliness whispers desperate measures
And your frantic all by yourself

Night-time is when the things get heavy
You feel alone and you want somebody
Loneliness whispers desperate measures
Baby don't make no fast moves
Baby don't make no fast moves
Baby don't make no fast moves
Baby don't make no fast moves- Tonight

(no subject)

Is it weird that on two occasions in the past couple days I have almost called my current gf by my ex-gf's name? It sort of horrifies me. Like I don't trust my own brain and it's processing ability.

I guess I'm also just scared that I'm trying to tell myself something -- like it's a warning of some sort. Or at least a wake-up call. It feels even weirder that it happened during moments when Melanie was NOT doing anything remotely related to something my ex used to do or say or whatever. I think my brain is affected by the weather and timing -- at this time last year, I had just come out to my ex and we were trying to figure out how my trans stuff was going to fit into our existing relationship (and problems). It might also explain my current mood, which is sort of withdrawn and introverted. And removed. What's scary to me is that I'm not sure anyone around me even notices. I suspect Melanie does -- she sort of asked me last night. I'm hoping she just has faith that I'll tell her about it eventually, and she's not just too nervous to ask me.
I want a week of hiding in my apartment. Or at least a day or two. I think I just need a big chunk of time to myself, with no acting out of obligation. Maybe I can jet early from the bookstore tonight.....

(no subject)

I'm starting to feel normal again....whatever that means. My body isn't as displaced as it was a couple hours ago.

Today I made contact with 3 folks from high school! It's all about highschoolalumni.com

I got an e-mail from Kr___, who had supposedly sworn off e-mail about a year ago. She told me she's pregnant again. She already knew about my transition through our mutual friend, which made things easier. Anyway, I also decided to send a message to my old Mock Trial buddy Sa___, who went away to Harvard and then was never heard from again. AND I called back Ve___. Yes, it was a little passive to call her during the day when she's probably at work, but I knew I wouldn't get to call her tonight or tomorrow because of work. So I left a message (managed not to say my name -- only "it's your old friend from Stone Mountain, thanks for calling last week" blah blah blah) on her machine saying that I would try to call her this weekend, but I also left my e-mail address (again, another passive move).

We shall see.

The workday is almost through! Yay!