I could work hard my whole life and in the end still suffer,

Cause this world is controlled by you lazy muthafuckas.

Last night I made the mixtape for the Freedom to Marry event tonight. The theme was cheesy love songs of the wedding variety. I was in heaven. Selections included: Wedding Bell Blues, Giving You the Best that I Got, Looks Like We Made It, We've Only Just Begin, We're In This Love Together, No Ordinary Love. Oh my. On a similar note, I noticed yesterday at the store that "The Essential" series released a 2-disc album of The Essential Barbra Streisand. Yum. I must save my pennies. I also found this hi-LAY-rious online review from amazon or cdnow or someplace. Now I love Barbra more than most people and would probably marry her should she ever come knocking on my door. Yet, I can't help but partially agree with their assessment:

Barbra Streisand's bravado made her one of the 1960s' overnight sensations. This 40-cut compendium traces her recording career from early tracks that frequently relay her subtlety to often impressive accommodations with soft rock and still later vibrato-fests that find her taxing the limits of performer's ego and listeners' ears. The narrative is one of direct, sometimes showy, emotion giving way to empty displays of technique. By 1983's icky anthem "A Piece of Sky," Streisand has plowed under the light touches of "Lover, Come Back to Me" and the triumphal Central Park version of "Happy Days Are Here Again." Where she produced schlock masterworks when teamed with Neil Diamond ("You Don't Bring Me Flowers") and Donna Summer ("Enough Is Enough") in the '70s, a diva summit with Celine Dion led to the car wreck of 1997's "Tell Him."

I'm laughing so hard and my heart is just bursting with love for her even more. Or something. Yeah, I know I'm weird.

I'm ready for this week to be over. I need a vacation. Luckily I can stay home and celebrate President's Day in my own special way because the office will be closed.

Gung Hay Fat Choy!

That's 'happy new year', for those playing along at home. And welcome to the year of the Water Horse. And we're pleased to inform our readers that we have the Water Horse in our studio tonight! Please give it a warm welcome.

[a smattering of applause in the office]

Q: Welcome to the show. Is this your first time here?
A: Yeah. The last time around you didn't exist.
Q: Which I guess could pose some problems, eh? Moving on, did you watch the pair figure skating last night? What's your opinion on the gold and silver medal standings?
A: I was hurting for both couples, really. And why did that one announcer talk about being ashamed for her sport? This is the first time she's ashamed of her sport? Did she not watch during the 1992 games? But what do I know? I'm just happy China won the bronze.
Q: Great. Would you mind explaining what exaclty a water horse is? Is it like a water buffalo?
A: Oh no. I'm the breed of horse you wide-eyed Americans are familiar with. The Chinese calender is a very complicated system, involving yin and yang, stems and branches and elements -- not just the animal. Water is equivalent to black in the five element system, so sometimes you'll hear this year referred to as the Black Horse Year.
Q: Would you mind gracing us with some predictions?
A: Without giving out too many spoilers, let's just say that if you were born in the day OR the year of Cow, Snake, or Chicken, your chances of getting nookie are higher then the rest of the population.
Q: You heard it here first, folks. Water Horse, thanks for joining us. We have to go to commercials, but when you come back to your Friends page, we will re-join the regularly scheduled programs for Raybear's journal. Special thanks to Raybear for allowing us to commandeer this space. G'night everyone!

greetings, earthlings.

Apparantly Raybear is really into renting out his LJ space to others. I'm the pen from Picture Pages. Not the cheap one you get your parents to order that doesn't make noises -- but the one Bill Cosby drew with that sang. Anyway, I'm hear to give a brif rundown of his schedule, for those who might actually interact with him in real-life, or for those who are reading and wonder why the fuck he's acting so strange.

Work is very busy. He's still trying to find those Florida articles. He's made some concrete leads. He's currently working help-desk -- he's on a call right now. Some poor guy who had the FBI breaking into his bedroom last week. The help-desk is ringing off the hook, and he's trying not to lose his cool. He is unable to take a break for lunch. He also has to leave work at 2:45 and go to his doctor's office across town. Plus, we all know how much he LOVES going to the doctor.

Then there's the event tonight -- he has to be there at 6. It ends at 9. He probably won't get home until 10 pm. Tomorrow is more work, and he's covering the phone for his co-worker who's out of the office all week (on top of the abnormal busy-ness). He has therapy in the evening. On Thursday he's leaving work and going straight to a dress rehearsal for the event. On Friday he's leaving work and going straight to the performance. On Saturday, he has another performance in the evening.

Now, this makes for a very busy Raybear. And we all know what a homebody he is, don't we? He loves being home. Home, home, home. He loves home. It's how he recharges. But this week had very little home time involved. That makes for an overly-anxious Raybear. Poor, poor Raybear.

But don't fret. It will all be over soon and he even has a day off of work on Monday. And he's planning on eating sushi on Sunday, which always makes for a happy happy Raybear.

Is this the type of stress that causes anxiety or major problems? Not really. Raybear considers himself fairly lucky. Is this the type of stress that makes him completely unavailable and generally behave in a bizarre manner? Absolutely.

Stay tuned and maybe I'll treat you all to some picture pages. It's time to play with crayons and with pencils.