I feel like bustin' loose and I feel like touching you.

Last night in a dream I went on and on and on and on to some person about how much I hate Ginuwine. Right now I'm jamming to his new single "Hell Yeah", freshly delivered to me from Damon who downloaded some new songs for my broke a$$ for tomorrow night. The irony is not lost on me.

Today I'm wearing Expand-O-Matic pants. Expand-O-Matic basically means "cheap polyester dress pants for big guys". However, my pants are possibly one-size too small and are doing no expanding. I'm sure some people might deem it criminal how tight these pants are on me, but for them I have two words: hott. I've paired them with a navy blue sweater vest. They're almost the exact blue-grey color as my Mr. Goodwrench jacket, so when outside I sort of look like I'm wearing a jumpsuit. And my head is freshly shaved. I'm feeling sassy today.

Last night started off well with a hot booty call, then I went home to eat leftover guacamole. Then once again, instead of cleaning the apartment or preparing for my gig on Friday night, I did something fun. nineinchlovely and lakenaiad stopped by after dinner for a visit. We watched a little television, but then I got anxious so I cajoled them into doing an arts project with me. We sliced and diced my back issues of Esquire and made collages. I made two, one called Stop Texting Street which is about it bands and one called Glossy which could be called "Male Gaze" but that would be redundant. I just kept chuckling to myself when cutting out headless scantily clad women and fully-dressed men's faces. Riley made a sex collage too but his had less of a commodity feel. Mine's going to go in the bathroom with my The Devil and Miss Jones poster.

We didn't finish our art projects until after midnight, and I resisted the temptation to stay up after they left -- I was tempted to take everything off the wall and start over in my decorating, but that seemed extremely premature. So instead I went to bed. And got woken up when the clock said 1:50 am (it was really 1:35 am) and even though I know it was because my phone was ringing, I swear I don't remember actually hearing the sound of the phone. It's more like I just rolled over and pressed the "talk" button then started doing so as if I was just continuing the conversation in my dreams. Not about Ginuwine though -- that came later in the evening.

You wanna fck? That's cool, but you gotta be the greatest.

The poll results about how to spend my $5.91 are certainly amusing me. Though for me it's becoming less about people's votes making a decision for me and more about who can predict which little voice inside my head I will follow.

I often procrastinate on the accounting portion of my job, but then once I get started I love it. Much like doing my taxes. I put it off, put it off, put it off, then I start doing it and I'm practicially getting off on lining up all the numbers and doing the calculations. I'm not sure I'm quite anal enough to be an accountant, but I could maybe pull off being an actuary. Hell, I see my own life through the lens of an actuary -- constantly putting numbers and tangible quantities on things, including emotions. So maybe I would hate doing it 40 hours a week. Frankly, I wish I didn't have to do anything that many hours a week. I want three or four part-time careers. I couldn't even have sex full-time. Well, maybe I could. I've never actually tried and I'd certainly be willing to give it a shot.

I'm so not in the mood for the film discussion group tonight, though I know once I get there I'll have fun and it will be lowkey and non-stressful. I'm just feeling petulant, as usual.

We be all up in your crib like furniture. Time to lick shots.

Are you currently under the care of an optometrist?

The beauty supply shop around the corner sells cigarettes for $3.75, including tax. I will put my change of $1.16 in a penny bank for another day. In the meantime, I'll be twitching a lot less tonight.

I briefly considered being a non-consumer, but since the only thing I've purchased in the past three days was one bag of tortilla chips, I figured I've done my part to consume less this week. The jimmy john's scheme didn't really stand a chance, because although I do love the vitamin!water and the #5 Vito sandwich, they can easily wait until next week or this weekend to be eaten.

Next time I'll buy that pack of Misty's I always eye.