And I could make you rue the day, but I could never make you stay.

Having an office makes me more snippy with my co-workers. I feel all important now that I have a semblance of walls. When they're entering my space, I'm trying to make it clear that they are entering my space. It's not just making comments as they pass by, which was the previous setup. I'm very busy, can't you see? That's why my tone says. I'm so full of shit.

Except today I am busy. I'm not working the rest of the week. And I showed up late and might want to leave a bit early and I have a lunch date, so in order to make my seven hours worthy of a paycheck, some busting of the ass must occur. I'm okay with this. No work, no eat -- the basic buddhist monk lesson. I don't take this to heart enough, possibly because I'm so busy adding caveats about the worth of labor and the value of people and what tasks they complete. And these things aren't mutually exclusive, I just don't want to get crap in some stupid American bootstraps way of thinking about earning my keep. I'm taking this up with the universe, not capitalism, thankyouverymuch.

I'm probably making no sense to anyone today. This is what happens when I have major allergy problems, so I take medication that makes me sleepy, and I counteract it with coffee and nicotine and stuffed pizza for breakfast and peanut m&m's as a mid-morning snack.

Also, how much do I adore ridleymae? The answer is a lot. I'm glad he passed through town last night, and frankly, between hanging out with him in DC in February, I've seen him more than some of my friends who live in town.

I just got off the phone with a friend of Lowenstein who I will call Mainstream Lesbian Democrat. While not-drunk at a party a couple weeks ago, I offered to help her with a Howard Dean presidential campaign fundraiser in April. She was calling to follow-up on my offer and I maintained my willingness to participate, assuming I don't have to pay the thirty-five bucks (I'll volunteer my time, but not my money). Even if I'm not exactly on board with the Democratic Party, I'm still somewhat fascinated by the political machine and there's a miniscule part of me that wants to believe it works. I'm a sucker, I know. And frankly this makes me realize if I'm really interested in doing anything remotely mainstream political, I should really offer my time to Jan Schakowsky, who really CAN make me believe there are good politicians. Or at least one. One is better than none I suppose. Maybe I just want to marry her instead.

So anyway yeah, me at some Howard Dean fundraiser. Me trying to locate an Illinois couple who's gotten a civil union. No one in my office knows anyone -- how ridiculous is this? I work for a queer legal organization with super-active community members and NO ONE knows anyone. I think this is more a testament to the office's sometimes tacit support of same-sex marriage without prioritizing it because none of us are into traditional institutions. Ah, the irony.

Less bizarre ramblings -- more unpacking and working!

That's sooooo five minutes ago.

I can't believe I'm going to mention the Prevue Guide for the second time this week and it's only Tuesday. But I just turned on the television (currently known as taking it off "mute" in this household, because it's broken), and my beloved TV Guide channel went from warm and tasty yellow to a stoic and cold blue. Sure, it might be easier to read but I don't care about my eyes right now.

When Pink's song was used in a Bally's commercial I didn't care too much, but for some reason when Justin Timberlake does it, I'm annoyed. Maybe it's just his goatee that's bothering me.

This may be the last entry I'll write for awhile on MelRo's beloved laptop. I'm sure when I go visit her I'll use it again, and frankly it's not exactly something to get misty over, but I feel the need to mark these bizarre small moments when it comes to major life changes. I remember our road trip to California in end of the summer 2001 (this was prior to the age of 9/11), and at least once a day she would turn to me in the car and announce that her 'puter was being delivered, possibly as we spoke. We had a little comedic routine down around it. Actually on September 11th, after I walked home from work, we returned to the downtown area at 5 pm while it was completely abandoned and retrieved the UPS box from my office so she could start setting up her new toy. I was off to the side playing with my new cell phone which had also arrived via UPS that day. Such strange gadget anniversaries that we probably wouldn't remember at all if it hadn't been for world events.

I have some fun things to look forward to tonight, with the first being a new episode of Buffy. Also, I won't be returning to work until Monday -- I took the rest of the week off to help MelRo move, then work on cleaning and rearranging the apartment to accomodate for the extra space, and in-between, some playdates with friends I haven't seen in awhile, including Damon, Mistress Minax, and vfc. E-mail checking will be less often and less obsessive for the rest of the week, so if you're trying to reach me, feel free to utilize the text messaging fucntion on my user info page.