raybear | Best phone conversation of the day.

Extremely slow helpdesk caller: I got fired and I'm gay.
Me: (Direct her to call back tomorrow or Thurdsay during help desk hours, tell her what the hours are.)
Caller: You just gave me a lot of information.
Me: (in my chipper phone operator voice) No problem, would you like me to repeat any of those times so you can write them down?
Caller: No. No. Just. Give me the number to call again.
Me: (Resisting the urge to say, "it's the one you just dialed.") Okay, here you go, 312. (pause) 66...
Caller: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Slow down. Start over.
Me: 3. (pause) 1. (pause) 2. (continues on in this manner, taking a slow breath between each number).
Caller: Okay, I'm going to repeat this back to you so I know I have it.
Me: Alrighty.
Caller: (repeats number back quickly and correctly) I just needed to write it down because I have a lot of numbers to call and keep together.
Me: I understand. It's no problem.
Caller: There IS a problem. I'm gay. (beat) Are you?
Me: (swallows, says nothing)
Caller: Of COURSE you are!
Me: Okay, great, well just call back tomorrow between 2 and 4 and ask for the help desk.
Caller: (hesitating) Okay....
Me: Thanks...(clicks phone down.)....fucker.