Miscommunication on livejournal? Never!

[raybear]

Apparently yesterday afternoon's post really bothers some people. Strange because when I read these types of things on other people's journal, I pretty much assume they're not talking about me. So I wrote a whole entry in the style where I was talking about me. Me me me me me me. That's who this journal is about, after all.

But apparently I failed in the experiment because it's being seen as either passive-aggressive or gossipy or mean, so rather than try and fix it, I guess I'll just scrap it and make it private because it seems boring and frustrating to me now.

I hope you know that if I have beef with you, I'll settle it honestly.

Comments

Son of a!

[supergoat.livejournal.com]

No fair - I didn't get to read it!

narcissism

[keetbabe.livejournal.com]

yesterday my officemate and I decided we were going to be completely utterly totally narcissistic for the afternoon. it was hilarious. i find it interesting that people immediately jumped to the conclusion that that post was about them. i guess it goes to show you that people relate to so much of what you write about.

and i always take the price tags off all of my gifts. (whatever it is that i did, i'm sorry.)

Re: narcissism

[raybear.livejournal.com]

i guess it goes to show you that people relate to so much of what you write about.

interesting point. i honestly forget this sometimes, that people are reading closely. so much of my words get put out and i don't actually know if anyone reads, because even when a comment is left it doesn't mean anything.

and no no no, no apology. you're not on that list! though after getting so much feedback, i post-placed some people on the statement about being bossy and judgmental.... ;)

[bigfatmama.livejournal.com]

i liked it. when folks were doing that a few months ago i thought, ooh, kinda bitchy, i'm always falling off that line anyway but yours were very interesting and really made me think about what i'm thinking when i am reading your journal. and i thought it was about you. because, hey, it's your journal.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

You win an award too then! dommeyourass guess the statements were composites, which they were. But the whole point of the post was sort of the idea that flaw you see in others are really flaws that bother you about yourself.

[bigfatmama.livejournal.com]

well i definitely saw some of my own assumptions and issues in the list so i liked it. i like to have a mirror and go, oooh, that is close to home, not too comfortable.

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

I just read it this morning and was curious to find out if my guesses were right - that most of them were about you. I thought it was beautiful in that way. Thanks for letting us see.

[clockwatcher.livejournal.com]

Ray,

I didn't think you were talking about me, but I understand why others who are more in your "inner circle" thought it... afterall, that's the precedent with those things. Most people on my friends list who've done that have had a number about me at some point.

And quite frankly you probably could have been talking about people you know -- because the things we notice most acutely in other people tend to be about ourselves, afterall.

My first thought as I was reading it was what I communicated, though was - damn. Some of what you wrote was biting and harsh, some of it was insightful, some of it was caring. All of what you wrote were things I don't think you could say about another person (accurately) unless you knew them very very very well. So I guess you that's a testament to how well you know yourself, then.

no beef, just boxes.

[nineinchlovely.livejournal.com]

and see.. while I said I thought the bossy one was about me, I really was just kidding. I'm sorry if it didn't come across that way. I've got no beef with you..evarr.

whatever beef you have, you better grill it up and eat it.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

that was my favorite line from the movie Drumline! and no, your comment was no problem.

anyway, would you be available to come over with some boxes tonight? i'm not sure if you have access to a car or not.

Re: whatever beef you have, you better grill it up and eat it.

[nineinchlovely.livejournal.com]

I may be able to swing it. How many do ya need? We've got oooodles.

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Just so you know, I didn't necessarily think that any of the things you were saying were about me. I didn't read any of the comments left by other people, so I don't know if or to what degree other people were offended. It's just that the trend with that type of entry is generally to be a passive-aggressive venting that makes a lot of people second guess themselves, whether or not the items were about you. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with addressing yourself in your own LJ, but if you aren't explicit in that, it's potentially hurtful to your friends. Sure, it makes for an interesting social experiment, I guess, but I can't say that I read my friends' LJs to become a guinea pig.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

right, right. like i said, i didn't do a clear job, because i wasn't trying to make anyone guinea pigs or drive them crazy with guessing, like i was holding some prize above their head and making them jump up and down. when people have done these lists in the past, i've always been fascinated with them in part because it's such this strange act of cowardice. which is also how i feel when i get extremely critical of people in my life -- i realize i'm really just feeling critical of myself but too cowardly to face it. but i didn't even see my words as being negative, because most of the items were about understanding and accepting even in the midst of problematic behavior.

i guess i should wait and tackle complicated social self-commentary when i'm not feeling overwhelmed and tired in my everyday life.