Leave that crack alone.

[raybear]

This morning while standing in the shower in the midst of an argument, my brain just stopped and all I could think was "AARRRRGH!! Full moon in Pisces with Mercury retrograde!!! ARRRRGHH! I'm not going to make it!!" It helps if you imagine the 'arghs' in a Kelis "I hate you so much right now" voice. So it basically felt like I was stuck in this thick suffocating bubble trying to talk my way out of it to people on the outside who spoke a completely different language and I just kept trying new words out hoping it would magically work. And it didn't, I just got more trapped. Then I finally was just like stop, stop, stop, get me off this crazy train, cut this scene, let's sit down and try this again.

Part of the problem is that Lowenstein can go to bed angry and upset and wake up feeling great. I have a difficult time falling asleep when emotions are churning (good or bad) and when I wake up, I have a hangover. (We weren't even mad at each other, it was more angry at things outside of us, like cops and nocturnal animals and not being able to shut things out to fall asleep.) I just wasn't ready to be okay this morning, I needed to be upset a little longer while taking a shower and having coffee, and then I slowly wake up and gain perspective. The moon moves slower than lightning. And since I'm usually the first one up, I have the alone time to recenter and I didn't have that today, she was up-and-at-'em seconds after I was. But you know, lesson learned and all that. And what's that saying about hindsight? Oh yeah, it's the bearer of bad news.

I swear it was made so much worse because of the astrological forecast. I mean, normally I'm able to be both: emotionally overwhelmed irrationality sitting next objective perspective. But I was too tired first this morning to do anything but feel wounded. Now I just feel sort of drugged, since everything got straightened out and we had a nice breakfast but now I'm just plain physically exhausted.

Before everything went to hell last night, I had a great evening having dinner with my New York co-worker who's a fellow pop culture and music geek, but we had lots of conversations about astrology and me telling crazy stories about my so-called dating life.

I walked into the office and it was completely empty. It was 9:30. I hate that, it's so eerie when everyone calls in late on the same day. Me, I don't call in. I just show up late.

Comments

Smarmy?

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

hmm... i suppose i could be perceived as being such from time to time. of course, the inner truth that only friends get to see, is that, though i enjoy a good flirt, i am way particular about anything else in the sexual and/or romantic world. i wonder if other libra's are like that. i do have my moon in taurus, though, which helps ground me emotionally. it also means that when i'm serious about someone, i actually want a monogamous partnership (reinforced by my libraness). but don't tell anyone i have gemini rising, it tends to scare people.

!!!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

gemini rising! eek! one of my big ex's is a gemini.

i have taurus in a couple major planets like venus and the determination tends to add to my cancerian nature in a positive way, though occasionally in just an annoying stubborn way.

yeah, libras are way relationship focused, that i know. not necessarily that all libras are settled down and get married types, but there's definitely a way of analyzing and focusing on how they relate to others.
and by 'they' i mean 'me'.

Re: !!!

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

that is why i don't tell people often about the gemini thing. what do you mean by:

"but there's definitely a way of analyzing and focusing on how they relate to others. and by 'they' i mean 'me'. "

Re: !!!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

oh, i was just saying that libras are very into relating and how people relate and how relationships work, and with my moon in libra, i have a lot of that too.

Re: !!!

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

got it... yes, i spend some gawd-awful amount of time pondering the nature of ALL of my various relationships with people.

geminis

[keetbabe.livejournal.com]

careful... there's a fabulous gemini in the mix... (i have sun, mercury, venus and mars in gemini -they are however in the 2nd house which is ruled by taurus, so luckily i'm more grounded than i would be say if these were all in the 3rd house).

Re: geminis

[raybear.livejournal.com]

Mistress Minax is also a gemini -- in fact, she's the first gemini that helped me understand all the good parts of the sign (since we all have our good and bad.....)