Leave that crack alone.

[raybear]

This morning while standing in the shower in the midst of an argument, my brain just stopped and all I could think was "AARRRRGH!! Full moon in Pisces with Mercury retrograde!!! ARRRRGHH! I'm not going to make it!!" It helps if you imagine the 'arghs' in a Kelis "I hate you so much right now" voice. So it basically felt like I was stuck in this thick suffocating bubble trying to talk my way out of it to people on the outside who spoke a completely different language and I just kept trying new words out hoping it would magically work. And it didn't, I just got more trapped. Then I finally was just like stop, stop, stop, get me off this crazy train, cut this scene, let's sit down and try this again.

Part of the problem is that Lowenstein can go to bed angry and upset and wake up feeling great. I have a difficult time falling asleep when emotions are churning (good or bad) and when I wake up, I have a hangover. (We weren't even mad at each other, it was more angry at things outside of us, like cops and nocturnal animals and not being able to shut things out to fall asleep.) I just wasn't ready to be okay this morning, I needed to be upset a little longer while taking a shower and having coffee, and then I slowly wake up and gain perspective. The moon moves slower than lightning. And since I'm usually the first one up, I have the alone time to recenter and I didn't have that today, she was up-and-at-'em seconds after I was. But you know, lesson learned and all that. And what's that saying about hindsight? Oh yeah, it's the bearer of bad news.

I swear it was made so much worse because of the astrological forecast. I mean, normally I'm able to be both: emotionally overwhelmed irrationality sitting next objective perspective. But I was too tired first this morning to do anything but feel wounded. Now I just feel sort of drugged, since everything got straightened out and we had a nice breakfast but now I'm just plain physically exhausted.

Before everything went to hell last night, I had a great evening having dinner with my New York co-worker who's a fellow pop culture and music geek, but we had lots of conversations about astrology and me telling crazy stories about my so-called dating life.

I walked into the office and it was completely empty. It was 9:30. I hate that, it's so eerie when everyone calls in late on the same day. Me, I don't call in. I just show up late.

Comments

Siamese

[thebrownhornet.livejournal.com]

Damn, wasn't this the same idea as the email I sent you as you simultaneously put up your posting? I swear everyone's having a fked morning.

Re: Siamese

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Morning? Try week. And, yeah, people who can wake up in a good mood after going to sleep in a bad mood piss me off. I better not think about them when I go to sleep, as if that ever happens.

Re: Siamese

[raybear.livejournal.com]

It's because we're Cancers and we hold on to emotions for the length of the moon shifting (or longer). I feel lucky that I worked hard to shave my time down to ten hours or so.

By the way, I was going to e-mail re: your Eric situation, but I figured I'd rather just talk in person about it on Sunday.

Re: Siamese

[vfc.livejournal.com]

Cool. And here's something interesting for you to ponder pre-sunday: Eric is also a Cancer.

Re: Siamese

[raybear.livejournal.com]

full moon hangover!

I've been on this crazy astrological kick, feeling really open and understanding, where I was talking of Amy's ear last night and dommeyourass's this morning about all my assessments and opinions and insights on different signs. I can't figure out if I'm on a roll or if I'm just full of isht. Or maybe both. It reminds of when I had that tarot reading experience at that halloween party. Maybe it's finally time to visit that Healing Earth bookstore and find that woman!

Look at the card!

[thebrownhornet.livejournal.com]

Totally! And I may actually give myself a reading today to exorcise some of my crap outwards. I feel like I'm sitting in a dirty bathtub with a clog.

Oh, and FYI: Mercury, Mars, Uranus AND Neptune are retrograde. Pretty rare... and pretty crappy.

Re: Siamese

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

any advice/insight for libras?
it's been a weird day, also the anxiety floating around the States right now, just even remembering what happened two years ago could be affecting general energies for everyone. memories produce waves. things that really impact stay around, the boundaries of time are not what we think they are, in ways, we are feeling the ripples of that high stress day, regardless of one's individual feelings on the topic.

Re: Siamese

[raybear.livejournal.com]

thebrownhornet was reading a new astrology book i had and he found a passage that said Libras have the capacity of being smarmy, if they're not careful. i thought about it for a second, then said "yeah, i can see that." which is probably not what you're looking for, but it what i think of when i think of libras lately. and since my moon in in Libra.

i feel like the universe is calling us drama queens right now. and by "us", i mean humanity. but this my own personal astrological take.

Smarmy?

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

hmm... i suppose i could be perceived as being such from time to time. of course, the inner truth that only friends get to see, is that, though i enjoy a good flirt, i am way particular about anything else in the sexual and/or romantic world. i wonder if other libra's are like that. i do have my moon in taurus, though, which helps ground me emotionally. it also means that when i'm serious about someone, i actually want a monogamous partnership (reinforced by my libraness). but don't tell anyone i have gemini rising, it tends to scare people.

!!!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

gemini rising! eek! one of my big ex's is a gemini.

i have taurus in a couple major planets like venus and the determination tends to add to my cancerian nature in a positive way, though occasionally in just an annoying stubborn way.

yeah, libras are way relationship focused, that i know. not necessarily that all libras are settled down and get married types, but there's definitely a way of analyzing and focusing on how they relate to others.
and by 'they' i mean 'me'.

Re: !!!

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

that is why i don't tell people often about the gemini thing. what do you mean by:

"but there's definitely a way of analyzing and focusing on how they relate to others. and by 'they' i mean 'me'. "

Re: !!!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

oh, i was just saying that libras are very into relating and how people relate and how relationships work, and with my moon in libra, i have a lot of that too.

Re: !!!

[vimandvigor.livejournal.com]

got it... yes, i spend some gawd-awful amount of time pondering the nature of ALL of my various relationships with people.

geminis

[keetbabe.livejournal.com]

careful... there's a fabulous gemini in the mix... (i have sun, mercury, venus and mars in gemini -they are however in the 2nd house which is ruled by taurus, so luckily i'm more grounded than i would be say if these were all in the 3rd house).

Re: geminis

[raybear.livejournal.com]

Mistress Minax is also a gemini -- in fact, she's the first gemini that helped me understand all the good parts of the sign (since we all have our good and bad.....)

[keetbabe.livejournal.com]

and here i thought MY problem was that the moon was full in pisces, mercury was retrograde and i'm pmsing.. no wonder everyone is crabby crabby crabby!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

right now I just want to crawl under covers on the couch and watch movies until the planets straighten themselves out. even stuff at work is crazy and out of control (though luckily in departments that aren't mine).

[writeli.livejournal.com]

I had a conversation for 20 minutes with someone in our chicago office after which i walked into my boss's office and asked him if I was suddenly speaking in a different language and was unaware. I mean, he was so frustrated from being confused, I had no clue what I could be saying that was so confusing. This morning I almost punched a woman on the train for being rude. Everything is bananas. I thought it was just the feeling hanging in the air here because it's 9/11. I read your post and was like "oh!"

I'm gonna use that covers/couch/movie suggestion. just can't until next week when it probably will be all over anyway.

[sharkysmachine.livejournal.com]

you're the kind who'd put strychnine in the well. I've always wanted to say that to someone.