And everybody needs somebody to love before it's too late....

[raybear]

I'm experiencing this strange feeling about tonight...something along the lines of excitement. Shocking. Usually I have this feeling of dread before the gig, which is a mix of nervousness as well as knowing it will be a long long night after working all day then being in the booth from 9:30 pm to 3:30 pm without a real break. Don't get me wrong -- DJing as a paid gig is more fun then sitting at a desk doing paperwork as a paid gig, but it's still work. It's deceiving for me think of it as a social event since I don't really get to interact with all the fabulous people except to maybe give a hug or dance for ten seconds or exchange a snarky comment or two. I stand above and watch everyone else get their drink or groove or grope on, and I chainsmoke and watch the clock and try to keep up the energy levels so people will dance. And concentrate on not puking -- this feeling usually comes around 1:45 am when I'm exhausted and have low blood sugar and I'm smoke-filled and I know I have two more hours of spinning.

But I think after 8 consecutive months of doing this, it's sunk in and I finally realize that every time, I will survive. I will prevail. And most times I do still manage to have fun even though I'm working. Tonight I also get to see the premiere of two of dommeyourass's acts, one of which I'm particularly tintillated by, especially after the sneak preview of the catsuit last weekend, and I've intentionally not asked for any information about how it will look so I can be surprised along with the audience.

The past few months I've left the club alone in the early morning hours and didn't mind a bit -- I even liked feeling alone the last hour at the club, interacting solely with strangers. I'm not sure if I'll crave this ritual tonight or not.

Comments

couple things.

[louche.livejournal.com]

first: i'm very sorry about the incident. i can't say more about it cause nothing near has ever happened to me. except in my nightmares. oh, how about i tell you about a nightmare i just had? it was like when i was a kid, wearing a wig. all these bully boys would chase me around screaming: "where your hair at?" "i'm gonna get that wig!" well, i had a nightmare the other night that some stupid bullies were chasing me down the street in my current life shouting "where your hair at, girl?!" and laughing. that actually happened to me in puerto rico two years ago. fun times.

second: please don't delete me.

third: looking forward to shaking my ass to your designed tunes this evening.

fourth: i'm happy that i'm getting to know you, slow as she goes.

that's all.
xox

Re: couple things.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

1. You know, that night I had briefly considered wearing my new wig out of the house to go pick up Lowenstein at old town. I wonder if wearing the wig would have prevented the mugging or made it worse.

2. babe, i wouldn't dream of deleting you.

3. why, thank you. someday i will clone myself so i can go dancing at a club where i'm djing. in the meantime, i'm eyeing this bar in wicker park where EVERY time i ride by with Lowenstein, they're playing a favorite club song of mine. also, i want to get some folks to go to prop house one night sometime soon, and you're on that invite list.

4. agreed three times over.

ahem

[mrmturtle.livejournal.com]

uh hi uh i don't mean to interrupt this love fest but uh gosh i love knowing you both.
turtle

Re: ahem

[louche.livejournal.com]

*hugs*!!

Re: ahem

[mrmturtle.livejournal.com]

hey dude i'm off to drink at katrina's goin away deal at trader vic's tiki bar.
catch up w/ you later after margaritas?
well, unless you have other plans...snort.
m