If I were a carpenter.
Apr. 9th, 2004 01:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearIf I were in a popular teenage movie, Mandy Moore would play my girlfriend.
If I were a tool, I'd be a socket wrench with an incomplete set of attachments.
If I wrote rock songs, they'd be about being drunk and lonely.
If I wrote pop songs, they'd be about having sex in the car.
If I were a tarot card, I'd be the Chariot.
If I were an office supply, I'd be a heavy duty stapler remover.
If I were a sandwich at a diner, I'd be a BLT; except.
If I were an item found on the table of a diner, I'd be the dish of half-and-half packets.
If I had a can of spray paint, I'd climb a water resevoir and write "Turk 182".
If I were a shirt, I'd be blue.
If I were a subway car, I'd be the fifth from the front which gets disconnected and sent to the trainyard during non-rush hours.
If I held a government office, I'd be a united states senator; except,
If I were a country, I'd be Russia.
If I were an epithet, I'd be "whitey".
If I were a term of endearment, I'd be "darling".
If I were a scientist, I'd be a paleontologist; except,
If I were a doctor, I'd be a pathologist.
If I were a geological specimen, I'd be obsidian.
If I were a crayon, I'd be yellow-orange.
If I were a day of the week I'd be Thursday, just shy of the full mainfestation of the week but the highest point of anticipation and possibility of a weekend.
If I were a tool, I'd be a socket wrench with an incomplete set of attachments.
If I wrote rock songs, they'd be about being drunk and lonely.
If I wrote pop songs, they'd be about having sex in the car.
If I were a tarot card, I'd be the Chariot.
If I were an office supply, I'd be a heavy duty stapler remover.
If I were a sandwich at a diner, I'd be a BLT; except.
If I were an item found on the table of a diner, I'd be the dish of half-and-half packets.
If I had a can of spray paint, I'd climb a water resevoir and write "Turk 182".
If I were a shirt, I'd be blue.
If I were a subway car, I'd be the fifth from the front which gets disconnected and sent to the trainyard during non-rush hours.
If I held a government office, I'd be a united states senator; except,
If I were a country, I'd be Russia.
If I were an epithet, I'd be "whitey".
If I were a term of endearment, I'd be "darling".
If I were a scientist, I'd be a paleontologist; except,
If I were a doctor, I'd be a pathologist.
If I were a geological specimen, I'd be obsidian.
If I were a crayon, I'd be yellow-orange.
If I were a day of the week I'd be Thursday, just shy of the full mainfestation of the week but the highest point of anticipation and possibility of a weekend.
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no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 02:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 06:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-04-09 10:30 pm (UTC)Pathologists Rock!
Date: 2004-04-09 11:34 pm (UTC)But are you sure you wouldn't want to be the 'flesh' colored crayon that was discontinued in 1987 from teh crayola brand?
If you were a kitchen utensil, which one would you be? For me it's a toss up between a garlic press or a meat cleaver.
--Mandy [no] Moore
Re: Pathologists Rock!
Date: 2004-04-10 07:51 am (UTC)Except, sometimes I'd be a house-shaped cheese grater, like this: