raybear | Farewell, goodbye, amen.

I was standing in Slim's office, filing some case notes when I suddenly felt really light headed and I noticed my breathing was extremely shallow. I stopped and took a deep breath, and my lungs hurt, which made me think I had been barely breathing for several minutes, hence the light-headedness. And it wasn't a panic attack -- it was more that feeling of being 13 and standing in line to ride a loop-de-loop rollercoaster for the first time. I realized it's probably because I was moments away from finishing my last task.

Granted, I didn't get to one thing on my to-do list -- I decided to leave it behind for an intern to complete and not worry about it. Oh, and I still have my final wall of pictures to take down.

I was going through the random items on my desktop, mostly throwing away the collection of receipts and post-it notes that gathered around my keyboard and computer. Behind the monitor was a box of my business cards, about 90% full. I sat there, hovering over the recycling bin, sometimes taking a few out to save, then putting them back, then taking them out. I suddenly said to myself "why are you holding on? what's the purpose?" So pitched them all. I don't need them. I don't need cards that say I'm the legal assistant at Lambda Legal because I'm not. I don't need reminders of my life as the legal assistant at Lambda Legal because I'll remember.

But I saved the box. At least to transfer my buddha figurines home.

On my last day I arrived early and I'm leaving early. I could say it is not soon enough, but it is what it is.

See you on the other side.