I don't feel any fcking joy of living.

[raybear]

But the time I left work, I was fading and sluggish in that way I'm familiar with, the days that I have not eaten the proper amounts at the proper times and my blood sugar has dropped. I had the headache and the sluggishness and the nausea. I wanted to sit on the train but a 5:05 pm train on a weekday isn't likely -- I leaned as best I could. I made it home. I knew I should drink more lemonade and it would make me feel better. Talking to DYA confirmed it -- she had a bad afternoon and immediately felt better after drinking some. I made up a batch and took a few sips and laid down to take a nap. I wasn't successful. My headache became worse -- piercing. I got up for an ice pack. I drank a few more sips. I laid down. I kept repeating this until finally I puked. (I made it to the toilet, there is no horrifying clean-up story to follow.) I heaved a lot, even when nothing was coming up. I stopped. I drank some water. I laid back down. I felt sluggish. I drank a few more sips. I dozed off for 10 minutes. I got up and puked again.

I've actually puked before because of low blood sugar. Often what happens is it drops super super low, I eat something, I puke most of it up, and then I feel immediately better and eat a small amount of something else and it all evens out. But I wasn't totally feeling better and I couldn't even think about trying the lemonade again. If I can just fall asleep..... Not happening. So I decided I needed to compromise. I pulled out an orange (one of the few items in our fridge) and juiced it. I had a few sips. Tried to lay down. Got really cold and shivery suddenly. (Oh wait, I was shivering a lot while puking, but that often happens to me.) Tried to watch tv. Got up. Puked up the orange juice.

I just made some ginger tea. I hate ginger tea. But I know it works wonders for the stomach. I'm going to try to finish the orange juice later. My Temp BFF said vomiting is a bad sign and the fast should end. Some Master Clease literature lists it as a mere symptom of detoxing, others say it means detoxing is happening to fast. Earlier I joked that I hoped I would start vomiting so that I would have an excuse to eat, but now that I'm here, I'm not eating and I feel really horrible and take it back. It feels outrageously horrible and the exact reason I started doing things like taking chromium and eating protein for breakfast and not going long periods without eating.

I'll see how the rest of night goes. I might just remain on a detox regiment for the week, but it will include food, mostly just fresh fruits and vegetables.

At one point I started laughing -- between my eyesight, my hormones, and my hypoglycemia, I would so not survive in the wild. I would have been naturally selected out of the gene pool.

Comments

[bigfatmama.livejournal.com]

hey sweetie, you know i have detoxed before, i have never gone on a liquid fast from eating regular, just from eating really clean and then when i had a four day weekend. i wish you luck i just think the timing could be better, maybe forty eight hours over a weekend when you can sleep when you like? and it does sound like your body is saying, take care of me NOW. detoxing does suck but your symptoms are extreme. xoxoxo.