I don't feel any fcking joy of living.

[raybear]

But the time I left work, I was fading and sluggish in that way I'm familiar with, the days that I have not eaten the proper amounts at the proper times and my blood sugar has dropped. I had the headache and the sluggishness and the nausea. I wanted to sit on the train but a 5:05 pm train on a weekday isn't likely -- I leaned as best I could. I made it home. I knew I should drink more lemonade and it would make me feel better. Talking to DYA confirmed it -- she had a bad afternoon and immediately felt better after drinking some. I made up a batch and took a few sips and laid down to take a nap. I wasn't successful. My headache became worse -- piercing. I got up for an ice pack. I drank a few more sips. I laid down. I kept repeating this until finally I puked. (I made it to the toilet, there is no horrifying clean-up story to follow.) I heaved a lot, even when nothing was coming up. I stopped. I drank some water. I laid back down. I felt sluggish. I drank a few more sips. I dozed off for 10 minutes. I got up and puked again.

I've actually puked before because of low blood sugar. Often what happens is it drops super super low, I eat something, I puke most of it up, and then I feel immediately better and eat a small amount of something else and it all evens out. But I wasn't totally feeling better and I couldn't even think about trying the lemonade again. If I can just fall asleep..... Not happening. So I decided I needed to compromise. I pulled out an orange (one of the few items in our fridge) and juiced it. I had a few sips. Tried to lay down. Got really cold and shivery suddenly. (Oh wait, I was shivering a lot while puking, but that often happens to me.) Tried to watch tv. Got up. Puked up the orange juice.

I just made some ginger tea. I hate ginger tea. But I know it works wonders for the stomach. I'm going to try to finish the orange juice later. My Temp BFF said vomiting is a bad sign and the fast should end. Some Master Clease literature lists it as a mere symptom of detoxing, others say it means detoxing is happening to fast. Earlier I joked that I hoped I would start vomiting so that I would have an excuse to eat, but now that I'm here, I'm not eating and I feel really horrible and take it back. It feels outrageously horrible and the exact reason I started doing things like taking chromium and eating protein for breakfast and not going long periods without eating.

I'll see how the rest of night goes. I might just remain on a detox regiment for the week, but it will include food, mostly just fresh fruits and vegetables.

At one point I started laughing -- between my eyesight, my hormones, and my hypoglycemia, I would so not survive in the wild. I would have been naturally selected out of the gene pool.

Comments

[bigfatmama.livejournal.com]

hey sweetie, you know i have detoxed before, i have never gone on a liquid fast from eating regular, just from eating really clean and then when i had a four day weekend. i wish you luck i just think the timing could be better, maybe forty eight hours over a weekend when you can sleep when you like? and it does sound like your body is saying, take care of me NOW. detoxing does suck but your symptoms are extreme. xoxoxo.

[vfc.livejournal.com]

It's great that you're suffering for spiritual and physical cleansing and all, but let's talk about things that matter:

If Whitney and Bobby aren't the perfect couple, no one is!!! I'm devastated.

[limenal.livejournal.com]

I was just glad there was no horrifying cleanup story.

Naturally selected out of the gene pool: I laugh because I too would be SO OUT OF HERE. Unless you get some evolutionary bonus for being able to hold your pee for super long periods of time.

[twostepsfwd.livejournal.com]

Hey M, don't you think maybe all Ray needs to do is come visit us and go to Cafe Gratitude? I think that what the food there did to me counts as a "master cleanse", n'est-ce que pas? ;-P

[twostepsfwd.livejournal.com]

Hrm... Ask the people on naturalliving, maybe - I know they're just random hippies people on the internet, but many of them have done the Master Cleanse. To me, intuitively, it does not seem right that you're puking. To me that would be a big red flag. ::removes Mom hat::: But then again I couldn't survive a liquid fast, being hungry makes my physical pain levels skyrocket and my mood plummet.

For detox purposes I use dietary changes and herbal teas and supplements only. I don't see dramatic changes but I figure it can't hurt my body, especially since my liver is probably under stress from the pain meds I'm on.

[mintwaster.livejournal.com]

Maybe it was the buffalo chicken tenders and BLT.

I did a 10 day cleanse once, but I was unemployed and did nothing buy lay around the house. I think food was introduced in day 4. I also did a 2 day "cleanse". And in those 2 days, we could eat only fruit, all the fruit we wanted, but it had to be the same kind all day and it couldn't be too sugary, like bananas.

[ex-fish.livejournal.com]

this one time, my americorps team decided to fast together. we made it until about 5:07p which we deemed pretty successful. Also, I puked a couple days ago from eating a bad egg. Just so you know you're not alone.

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

That sucks. I'm sorry you're feeling so awful. I hope you can eat something which will make you feel better.

I think if you were in the wild, you'd be feeding yourself fruits and nuts regularly all day and surviving that way. :) You could have Sophie to help you find things and I bet a year's supply of hormones would be dropped like in Hatchet.